Asia Pacific Mudmen Championships

After mums weekly pocket money failed to front in my heavily depleted piggy bank, I found myself staring at a scrunched up tenner on an empty Sydney hotel bed; the remnants of my life savings. Flashbacks of Woolys dumpster diving on the GC with Dr O’Connor and HH (names hidden to protect their dignity) soon consumed my every thought. Would I have to resort to this again? Oh wait I’ll check my Visa..... A somewhat classy and memorable expedition.

Before boring you with the details of my last 10day endeavours I would like you to ponder a few things regarding this new sports form[PC1] , in comparison to triathlon.

Shaved or hairy? Was not quite sure so just did one leg. Made sure it was the inside one as it would eventually get around the course.

MTB or road shoes? Why would you ever wear road shoes in an off road triathlon....

Two piece, one piece or no peace? The topic that I a only sure how not sure I am on this.

Old and wise or young and reckless? You definitely need some, excuse my ageism, old man strength to compete in these. Let’s face it we weren’t caned at school at all and when the anti smacking bill came through, our generation and ones to come have lost all hope.

Tyres pressures and tread? Each time you buy a new bike they come with new tyres and tubes and tread. Apparently you can change these if they wear out, not just in the event of a flat. It’s weather dependent too....

Bravery or stupidity? When you get on in life and settle down I believe intimacy with your lady friend draws to a close too. Is this why they tend to have a little more size to the so called bravery gland.

The in and outs of back to back weekends of Xterra revealed as I turned out a few above mediocre performances. Two weekends in a walnut, National Champs in Rotorua and Asia Pacific Champs just south of Sydney at Callala beach (thats in straya for all you who didn’t know).

Rotorua: After a welcome by the local tribe at the pristine Blue Lake I was ready for my debut as a Pro in Xterra. So clear in fact you felt a little bad for going in in your wetsuit. Slightly missing the gun due to it going off almost randomly meant entering the water piggy backing the local weekend warrior with the unchartered waters of a mass start. I exited the water in good shape and was soon onto the bike, opting this time to use road shoe on argueably the most technical course on the circuit. Due to the fact that for the first 10km I spend more time off my bike than on, this turned out to be a poor option however I did all my falling off on the uphill which meant slightly less pain. And still having to stop several times to empty the bottom of my shoes. After eating the majority of the course (concentrating required an open mouth), I was relieved to be off in one piece, which is more than I can say for others. Onto the run I got into a nice rhythm early, relishing the experience of getting off the bike and being unable to feel my legs. I ran into a few highly skilled mountain bikers to make it up to 7th. Not too bad for my first start....

Callala Beach: 8 hours of eye opening highly unsatisfying travel later I arrived at my lovely home stay, with Wayne and Wendy Hently. I arrived just in time to get over the bike course that was possibly as exciting as bingo night at an old folks home. Several race lines required three or four attempts with odds sometimes as high as 75% chance of swimming. Yes, as you could have guessed I had arrived just in time to meet the start of the storm that has now devastated NSW. Race day rolled round and I found myself wading waist deep through seaweed heading out to turn one. I enjoyed the start with a “less street fighter, trying not to drown” approach. I had an average swim exiting a little down on some of the big names. After contemplating hailing a taxi to travel the 700m from beach to transition, I was on the bike. My legs were asleep and quite clearly I had left them on the plane on the trip over. Motivation was at an all time low being readily passed on a challenging bike course. I arrived back into transition fighting for some credibility. I had a good run passing several athletes on my way to a top 10 finish at the Pro Asia Pacific Championships.

My trip was topped off by being deceived into a $37 parking bill to visit the white shed thing on Sydney’s Waterfront and flight delays before returning home luggage free. I will also be cleaning mud out of my bodily orifices for the next week.

I hope you have been entertained in reading this. I am easy to contact if you would like to find out further mishaps from my adventure abroad.

Catch you on the flip side, chuck another shrimp on the barby, the opposite of gidday mate.

Stay tuned until next time.